we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
