Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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