For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
