saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
