why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
