so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
