sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
