Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
