Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
