I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
