It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
