i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
