The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Come see our sink grown plant.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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