i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
