he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
How's work?
Spinning.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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