Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
