I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize