I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
