at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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