Sponge bath it is.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
