I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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