just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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