How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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