Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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