We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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