He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
