I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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