never play flip cup with pint glasses
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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