Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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