i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
