he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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