i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
