What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
