Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
