man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This is my gift to your gina
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
