I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize