pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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