So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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