Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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