I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
