i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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