I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
