I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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