im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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