I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Two words: blizzard sex
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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