Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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