Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
