THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Of course I have a pirate flag
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
