He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
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