I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
