Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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