this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
