Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
