Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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