Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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