My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
